little boy, big day

and so a new day begins

just a simple, beautiful september afternoon

with me and my boys

out for a walk

change is here

apparently i wasn't ready for it

my eyes stinging from the flood of tears

that raged out

left my eyes a bright aqua colour

highlighted by once-white, now red surroundings

damn betrayal of tears

and callum

strong and brave and 4

anxiously clutching his hands

on a warm and sunny almost-fall afternoon

---are you cold?

"i'm okay, mommy"

and he sat

and assessed the situation

and every so often would smile back a nervous smile

my way

at the fence that separated the parents from the kindergarteners

i fought off the emotion

i didn't know it would all bubble up

strong

yes

take pictures

keep it together

sing a song with everett

and that worked until they filed neatly in a line

sang the song with mme robin

and left us at the other side of the fence

as he walked into something new

but older

and then i was done

30 day photography challenge

i like a good challenge, and one that makes me think of reframing ordinary, every day moments...even better

so, a group of mamas that i discuss every possible aspect of life with, well one of them posted a 30 day photography challenge - and i have joined in. so posting the pics in a few installments as 30 posts might be a little overwhelming - but a week's worth is all good.

this is the challenge - http://whitepeachphoto.com/2011/05/25/photography_challenge/

days 1 - 7

-- first the pics, then my awkward attempts to explain the why behind the pics...

self portrait

what you wore today

clouds

something green

from a low angle

from a high angle

fruit

why...
self portrait

- i work with my hands - so part of my self portrait
a bit cheesy as i hate being in photos

what i wore today

- was at the spa - the hydrotherapy pools so not much

day 3 - clouds

- got it at 815am before the clouds starting burning off - it's very sunny now, but had to decrease the contrast on this, but no other editing really needed

day 4
something green

- maybe not exactly what was intended, but early morning in the yard...

day 5 - from a high angle

(callum's legs dangling off our 2nd floor deck

day 6 - from a low angle

day 7 - fruit

- i bought mangoes and asian pears at one of the grocery stores about 30m away from our house here in chinatown. used my cheap p+s as i don't find fruit exciting enough to shoot manually

i thank, and am thankful for, my friends

i had been feeling a bit like a solo act
on the outside
fringes of friendships

and then you all came here
and brought life and love into the spaces of my life here that can't be filled by husbands and children
unoccupied spaces
i've felt so far away
and that has changed

i am grateful for growing older
for knowing the value of these long friendships
not wrinkled by time
but fresh and alive and joyful
and each stage in this life and the moments i've shared with all of you
are so rich
and i thank you friends

i walk by these places we've now shared
and these places that were distant and far and hours away
and you've filled them up
i walk by ben ben
and i smile
the rejected fortune
a second more fitting one
the lone egg roll
and now you are all on my walk home from work

i can sit down on my beaten, child-worn couch and stretch out with a glass of wine
and remember how our talks brought the sunrise
a night of chat, wine and bringing in a new day together
i can't remember the last time i chose to stay up all night and greet the dawn with a red-wine-stained smile

all these simple, valuable moments - too many to put into words but tucked gently into memory
i thank you
i am thankful
and you have given me more home
by being here to share it :)

i love my 40yr old friends.
and this is my love letter to cherishing long friendships that continue to evolve and grow with truly amazing, strong, and fantastically beautiful women

i thank these hands

i used to curse them...
the stubby fingers, deeply lined palms, thick knuckles
i thought they were ugly
these hands
silly with rings adorning the fat fingers
unfeminine, boyish, child-like, tiny

and then
i fell in love with my hands
small but strong
forceful and gentle
feeling

i can hover over skin and fascia and muscles and feel them
even before i move deeper
my little investigator hands that feel heat and energy and break adhesions and provide relief and facilitate healing
i realized - realize every day - with gratitude
how blessed i am to have these small, strong, stubby hands
where energy and strength travel over a short distance in the briefest amount of time
and feel
feel it all
and i am amazed, blessed, thankful
these hands i thought ugly
are unexpected gifts

useful
communicate, clean, move

loving
touch, embrace

healing

strong
and i thank my hands
after every treatment i draw them together and feel their sympathetic and wise energy
and i am grateful that they provide
they know
have purpose
i thank them for guiding me
for making good intentions real
facilitating health
restoring
blessed

and now
my chubby little hands are beautiful
their range humbles me
i am thankful
and i remember to thank them
for providing me with my life's work
two small strong stubby hands at a time

leftovers casserole - chicken

it was a bit of a bbq kind of week and as often occurs, we bbq more than we can physically eat.
ah leftovers
once bbq-ed chicken just isn't the same re-heated which means time for a re-invent (a lot of hyphens going on around here)

my kitchen is often not supplied with all the ideal ingredients to make a gourmet remake of leftovers. so this is another make-do-with-what's-in-stock...


2 leftover cooked chicken breasts pulled into small pieces
2 sweet potatoes sliced
1 can tomato soup (condensed)
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp mexican chili spice
1 medium sized cooking onion chopped
1/2 packet taco mix
cheese if you please on top (i just added a bit at the end, after cooking)

- i spray with cooking spray then layer

- mixed the soup, garlic, mex spice, and taco mix together then added on top of the sweet potato, onion, chicken

- have a nice 350 oven for a slow bake around 40min

the boys both ate this. so did dh and me. pretty simple flavours but good simple flavours - and moister than a reheated chicken breast would have been

from instant to pho

i took an unexpected break from the blog
back with one less job (i quit), and no additional free time (upped the hours in the work i LOVE)

so...on those days when i have no time to conjure up a feast for myself, i try to improve something in an instant.

in the case of instant soups, i buy them in chinatown. i buy rice noodle versions, and a bit of chili paste, and whatever leftover meat to make it into a pho-style soup (i try to have bean sprouts on hand, but didn't this time.

so for this version, i had a chicken/rice noodle instant soup, added 1/2tsp of red chili paste and 1/2 leftover chicken breast from the bbq, sliced thinly. prepped the soup (boiled water...tough, eh?!), added chicken slices and done

tasty, easy and pho-like